who were standing there looked like her body guards. She turned her face back, our eyes met. There was an instant spark between us, like a flash of lightning and she gave me a short smile, a smile that I always wanted from girls and often I don’t achieve. In fact I’ve been expecting a smile like this one for the whole two years I’ve been in England. Her smile and her little glance at me put pressure on my heart to fall in love with her. My feeling reminded me of the words that Shakespeare said about this moment,
“Who so ever loved, loved at first sight.”
My eyes were focused on her. She said to a woman, looking at her watch,
“I think the bus is gonna be late.”
I prayed to God that the bus didn’t come today and I stood all the time looking at her. Unfortunately it came and everybody boarded the bus. Just one seat was left, the fourth from the end, which was empty. I sat with her on that. She took out a romantic novel from her bag and started reading. I put on the headphones and started listing to the music on my Walkman. What stupid person would listen to boring music when a girl more beautiful than the Taj Mahal was sitting adjacent! I stopped my music and started thinking up excuses to talk to her. Then suddenly I plucked up the courage to say to her, “Have you got the time please?” As she turned her arm to check the time, the novel she was reading fell from her hand. As she bent down to pick up the book, I went to pick up the book as well. I found myself with my hand on top of hers. She quickly removed her hand from mine and smiled as I handed over her novel. She smiled and thanked me in her sugary voice. I judged from her face that her lips thanked me for giving the novel and her smile was thanking me for giving the heart. I asked her what her name was.
“Kam”, she replied.
“Kam!” I repeated with an amazing and confused expression.
“Kamaljit” this time she made it clear.
To charm her a little I told her that her name was very lovely, but not as lovely as her.
“What’s yours?” she asked me .
“Raj”, I said at once.
“Raaj!...eh? A lot of Indians have the name, Raj, but they don’t all have what you have.”
“What do you mean?”, I asked with a curious expression on my face.
“You know what I mean”, She said with grace, whilst looking away from me .
I hid the laugh which occurred because this was the first time I had heard such praise from a nice girl.
“Do you go to College?” She asked me.
I replied “yes” before she could have said anything else. I gave her little bit more information. Then we talked about other things like hobbies and interests etc. to clear the path for our passionate journey.
The bus came into Dudley bus station and she walked me to the stand of the 140 bus, which I was going to catch to college. I asked her for her address. She gave me the address of a travel office in Dudley, where she was working.
Then I got on the bus. My eyes were still on her, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I used to leave a space on a bus for the girls from my college but that day all the other girls looked ugly compared to her. My eyes only wanted to see her. I was slain by the sharp arrow of her beauty and the bullets of her sweet words.
In college I had tried hard to study but I couldn’t read even a single word, she was all over me, in my mind, in my eyes, in my heart. Whenever I opened my books I saw her fantastic figure. At lunch time, when it became impossible for me to wait any longer. I went to Dudley and discovered the address that she had given me. I asked a lady there for Kam. She told me that there was no girl named Kamaljit working there. I gave her the description but she hurt my feelings by saying, “sorry” . She murdered me with that five-lettered word “sorry”. It was a most dreadful shock and I thought I’d never love and trust another girl again.
I came back home with a broken heart. I was in a lot of pain and sorrow. I consoled myself by saying that most of the girls here are slags and probably she was just one of them. My heart did not want to believe this. She was my first love. It is very difficult for any one to forget their first love. I was hurt as if I’d fallen from the top of a mountain or wounded just like a small animal being hunted by a hungry lion. I was in a deep depression and great silence. Before that day I used to hate cigarettes and alcohol but then I was ready to use these to help me to forget the pain. I was all alone in spite of everyone. “For what sin is God punishing me?” I kept asking myself. I had a great deal of respect for women, but this makes me want to hate all of womanhood. There were clouds of sadness all over me. I spent three days like this. I immersed myself in my studies to forget her.
It was Thursday morning. I was a bit late, I got to the bus station as the bus was about to leave. I got on very quickly. I saw her again sitting on that same seat. I was wanted to slap her and ask her why she had deceived me, and of what was I guilty? Why had she done this to me? Her eyes were inviting. I deliberately took no notice. I considered not sitting with her because I didn’t want to hurt myself again. As I was about to pass by her to sit at the last seat, she grabbed my hand and said, “Raj, I gotta say something to ya!”.
“I don’t wanna hear anything.” I replied in a temper.
“Please Raj. Even God forgave the first sin and even courts give you one chance for an explanation. Why won’t you? Ple...ase”
“I am not God” I replied and pulled my hand from her. I saw the ocean of tears struggling to come out, on her innocent eyes. I sat with her to listen to her explanation. She told me that her name was Shabnam not Kamaljit and that she was a Muslim. I told her my feelings” Whether you are Shabnam instead of Kam, Pakistani or Indian, What difference does that make?”
She stopped me “That does makes a lots of difference to me, Since I met you I have learnt what love is, you’re the one who lit the light in my heart and I wanted to spend my whole life in your embrace, but I discovered that you are a Sikh by the symbol on your neck that day. My parents are really strict. If my brothers find out about you they would probably hurt you and I don’t like to be the reason for an angelic man like you being hurt. I was also going through the pain that you have been through. You’re not pining alone. If you were on fire, I was on fire as well. Yours was nothing compared to the fire in my heart. I needed some time to think. I was in two minds whether to pick love or tradition. I was struggling very hard to think about what was wrong or right. I am sorry that I told you the wrong name but I did give you the right address. When you arrived there though I hid and asked the girl to tell you lie. Please forgive me Raj”
She said all this without breathing. My heart melted. I accepted her apology, smiled and started comforting her “Our religions doesn’t teach us discrimination. A borderline drawn on a map can divide our two countries. Two religions can divide people by costumes and cultures but there is no borderline which can divide love. Two different religions cannot stop the joining of two hearts. Love is the greatest emotion and divine gift given to man by God.” I could tell that I had impressed her with my philosophy.
She said very sensibly, “I understand that. That’s what I was want to worked out, I don’t care for any one now, I’m all yours”
We got off the bus, holding each others hand. After we had walked a little distance, I suddenly stopped and stood in front of her holding her left hand in my right and her right hand in left and kissed her on her cheek after a moment’s hesitation. She looked in my eyes, her eye-balls were shining just like Kohinoor diamonds making her even more sexy. My heart did a little dance. She closed her eyes calmly and brought her lips closer to me. We hugged each other and started kissing. As our lips met, I had a powerful shock like 440 volts of electricity. She fastened me tightly in her arms. We were kissing deeply. as she loosed her hug, I hugged her back tightly. I wanted to suck all of the sweetness out of her, this masterpiece of nature. Eventually she stopped kissing and said” We’ve gotta stop now, We are not in the bedroom.” They seemed to me be the most beautiful words I’d ever heard. I held her face between my hands, touching my both palms to her cheeks. Again I looked in her eyes. This time I saw the tears of joyness dropping on to her face. My eyes were also filled with similar kind of tears. That moment I felt that our tears destroyed the borderline between our two countries. I wished if it could really happen.
“I love you” I whispered just to change the atmosphere because we were getting emotional.
She came to my embrace saying “I love you too!” and I forgot all the pain I had in the past.
***
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